Hold the Press – She has stockings (that don’t roll down) at last!

Just thought I would share, after an exceptionally confusing conversation with a doctor, three receptionists, one healthcare assistant and the same pharmacist at least 15 times, I have stockings! They aren’t the ones I wanted but they took so long and caused so much confusion I am not letting them go for anything!

I wanted a simple pair of thigh length, non self-rolling, no weird pinkish tinge beigey stockings, I have the most disturbingly tight. thickest (could seriously be used as armour) maximum security stockings ever! They truly are amazing! I thought it was hard getting them on, by God it was impossible getting them off! It’s like even my stockings are mocking me for being single, I hear them say, “Cant get me off can you? Should of found a man by now shouldn’t you? If you weren’t single, you would have assistance with this, mwaha ha ha!”

Anyways my advice should you want it, check the bloody prescription, tell your doctor you need stockings, make sure they don’t prescribe the ones that make you walk like Wallace in the Wrong Trousers! Do you know what though, they don’t fall down, they may cut off the circulation to all of my organs but they don’t fall down, I am so happy about this (irrationally so) I could genuinely cry, I have had 6 years of self rolling stockings, so thank you Mediven, one day I will get the right prescription and be even happier, but for now I love your non roll up stockings they have made my year! Oh and don’t worry folks I honestly did get measured for them, they are just the wrong strength. P.s if anyone is looking for a woodland catapult to amuse their children you would do much worse than purchase a pair of these phenomenally strong stockings!

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